Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Contrition - A Soothing Palliative Agent - Part 2

The qualities of a person largely depend on their individual choice - conscious or subconscious or unconscious (conscious is the best) - to be as:

a) purely good
b) good dominating their bad
c) bad dominating their good
d) purely bad
e) perfect harmony of good and bad in the right proportion for the right person at the right time 
f) unattached perfect harmony of good and bad in the right proportion for the right person at the right time

To achieve the last option living in a practical world without taking upon asceticism, it takes a herculean effort, energy, persistence, determination and single-minded resoluteness to remain in that eternal and blissful state effortlessly not only for a single moment or day but also lifelong is the epitome of perfection.

For all the other possibilities, cause-effect triumphs thereby kicking in the breakable yet unbreakable chain of Karma because of their respective actions according to their intentions and motives.

The motive may not play a significant or weighty role in the Court of Law but in the realms of spirituality and morality at the infinitesimal quantum levels, the consistency of the motive is one of the decisive indicators of the overall nature of any living being.

Usually, people genuinely or strategically or insincerely engage in self-reproach or self-castigation when they commit a mistake, error or blunder.

If it's strategic or insincere, it's confirmed they belong to either c) or d) with the exception that those in c) can also be genuine enough when they are treated with love, respect, and kindness but you need to monitor them in case they fall into the classic trap of recidivism.

I don't know whether you have what it takes to do the right thing but two striking incidents flash across my mind that happened in my life.

When I was in my 12th standard, my teachers, especially DivyaShree mam who taught CompSci, Parvathi mam - Physics, Jaggu Sir - Chem and Snehalatha mam - Maths, felt that I had it in me to get glory to my school by securing the State Rank.

As the results rolled out, my scorecard read 97 % which would have been easily the first rank in many schools (at school level & not state level).

I was very much disappointed and dejected with myself that I let down my teachers as they strongly believed in me that I would make them very proud.

I was self-mortified and embarrassed to meet them in person to thank them for their wonderful efforts once when the results were declared.

I falsely thought I was doing the right action by not meeting them as I miserably failed to meet their high expectations to acquire the coveted State Rank.

But, in retrospect, I felt it was not the right decision since it meant that I had given much attention to myself rather to my incredible teachers who had poured out their heart and soul for two years.

Most importantly, their constant encouragement and motivation to make not only me but also everyone to strive harder and harder without any partiality was the nucleus of their teaching methodology.

There have been many a day where I considered walking back to my school and drop in but days had turned into years and with their skills and talents, I was sure that they would have moved on to another school or college.

I had one golden opportunity to have an accidental run-in with Snehalatha mam. But, before we touched upon the particular topic, she had to go as she was running late.

Wherever they are, I always thank them from the bottom of my heart as I was very lucky and fortunate to get such extraordinary teachers in my life.

One other teacher who left a profound impression was Umamaheswari in Bhaktavatsalam Vidyashram. When I shifted my school to DAV, I knew that if I told her before I jumped school, she would have definitely convinced me to stay back. 

As a kid, I was very afraid that would happen and didn't even tell her a proper goodbye to one of the best teachers I have had in my entire life. Her natural way of simplifying things and her passion towards her profession - it left an indelible mark on me to love what you work rather than for just money.

Like my high school teachers, she was way too competent to be limited there. Though I had one chance to speak with her, she was extremely busy with her co-workers and I thought I would make her even more angry by interrupting her.

Whether they forgive me or not, it's up to them but it was never ever in my wildest imagination of thinking to disrespect or insult them through my behavior then.

Rebirth may exist or may not - But, I would definitely want them as my gurus in my next life as well for their superb way of teaching and making things easier to understand.

The truth has been stifling and suffocating me for a very long time but with Steve Smith's honest-to-goodness acceptance, it was the much-needed spark and I also felt that the time was aptly right to unburden the untampered truth as such.

The one major difference between Smithy and myself is that he said it in open whereas I don't have the luxury to track every single teacher and tell them but doing it in my blog though if I ever get a window of opportunity to see any of them in person, I would love to thank them for their magnanimity which they had shown and showered upon not only me but also every student to consistently raise our bar every time in whatever we do.


                                                              X---Concluded---X



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