Sunday, June 11, 2017

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men tell No Tales: Aye Aye Captain!

"This is the day you will always remember that you almost (strong emphasis!) caught Captain Jack Sparrow". Whenever Johnny Depp uttered this immortal lines, it gave you a positive shiver of the larger-than-life, cunning, shrewd, calculative, ruthless, brave, funny and humorous sea plunderer who makes his plans on-the-go with his astute discernment of the situation around him to his own effect by always giving a sense of suspense and doubt whether Captain Jack Sparrow is a good or bad person. It doesn't matter to anyone at all his antics ultimately ends up in saving the day - intended or unintended - only the scriptwriters know about it. Nevertheless, Captain Jack Sparrow (CJS) was the true treasure in the entire Pirates original trilogy with his tickle-me-funny dialogue deliveries, amazing expressions and gestures. 

Taking a pole vault to 2017 from 2011, yeah! that's when the disastrous On Stranger Tides was released!, POTC 5 had really taken a long time to set sail from its shores. Was it necessary? Seemed so to the production houses who wanted to strike when the iron was hot only in this case the iron had already been rusted and was badly in need of a rust-proof agent! The movie had its own share of fantastic moments like the bank robbery scene and the young CJS who outwits Salazar. Unfortunately, other than that, POTC scuttles down to the bottom of the ocean. It was not that the film was horrible like its predecessor. It's just that instead of adding value to the general audience and fans, the franchise's main intention seems to be milking the cow. Entertainment or no entertainment - at the end of the day, it's business where the investors would love to see substantial colorful flowers for their risk-taking appetite. 

Sadly, the tenets of Marketing doesn't work that way. When you give a relatively substandard product after you have offered awesome ones earlier, people will think twice to buy from you in the future. One might rake in the extra dollars and keep them afloat, pun intended, by selling the substandard, irrelevant, unnecessary and lost-its-appeal product by accounts of their credibility and reputation that they built and sustained earlier. But, when people deem something worthless, your brand image takes a hit and it will be extremely difficult to sell another, even if it's superior, product to anyone. It's basically like selling the 1960-1970s room-sized computer being forcibly pushed and sold by Apple or Microsoft or Dell today by leveraging the power of their brand and saying "Bigger is Better" falsely thinking that as they have a strong connection with the people and huge fan base so the customers would buy these monster and outdated computers when no one in their right mind would even think to look at them. I sincerely hope POTC 6 doesn't push us into the deep waters without a life jacket! A humble request to not only POTC makers but also to others as well. Please do not make a sequel or prequel for the sake of making it just because you have the Kola peninsula-deep pockets and big star power in your kitty. When the people en masse decide to turn their backs at the franchise, you simply cannot produce another film to extend its longevity if the film doesn't add any value to the hard-earned money and time that we spend with the hope that we would be entertained as before.  

When Barbossa dies while saving his daughter in the climax, she was more like "Yeah..Dad died" instead of capturing the full essence of the shock, surprise, and sadness when she discovered that he was her father as he falls into the swirling waters below. That said, the VFX is gorgeous though Salazar's fire-y team might remind you of Barbossa's skeleton crew in the first movie.There were liberal doses of humor sprinkled here and there like how the chef garnishes his special using coriander leaves. Despite the handful of positives, the screenplay could have been made better as every person had their own personal motives to get hold of the Trident.     

Even Johnny Depp was reduced to more like the treasure chest carried away by anyone and everyone instead of being the actual treasure it holds. The glimpses of CJS's brazenness was only seen during his younger version taking against Salazar's army. That was what the POTC's lovers had come to ride in the loot when the flick was released even after a wide chasm of 6 years. Not the Johnny Depp who was more like a sidekick to a sidekick!

In fact, there was one scene where an up-down guillotine tries to behead JD. I am not sure whether it's a figurative way to tell JD that his time is up as being the captain of the crew! Just like how no one can reprise Hugh Jackman's phenom performance as The Wolverine, it's difficult to fill up the pirate boots of CJS. Instead of being unceremoniously kicked out from the franchise, JD can save the disgrace and embarrassment by sidelining himself as a solid professional unless he gets a freaking superscript to don the role again. We will always love you Captain Jack. You have given us scintillating fun through your sparkling wit and the trademark actions that can be eclipsed by you alone no matter what.

The post-credit scene is like raising the anchor for the ship to sail again. But, will it?  


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